Turn the Light(s) On!

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My family knows I like to have the lights off. I have my kids pretty well trained to turn off the light as they leave a room.

This is all about my personal electric bill. I am, when it comes to things financial, a cheapskate.

Therefore, on the evening of March 28th—and any other day “they” have one of these knuckleheaded “Hour Without Lights” or whatever they call them—I will turn on every light in my house, regardless of whether someone is in the room or not. I even thought about leaving the refrigerator open for that time but then the food might spoil and that wouldn’t be wise.

Why turn the lights out when other people are turning them off? For starters, I’m just not much of a bandwagon type guy. If the world’s going and doing something, I’m likely to try and find the opposite thing as I operate on the general principle that mobs are stupid.

Second, if all of us were to turn our lights off for a whole day, in the long run it wouldn’t save us any money and it’d probably cost us a bunch more than if we had just used whatever our normal usage of electricity was. Why is this? The city I live in, Dumas, TX, gets part of its revenue from the water usage of its citizens. If the residents start cutting down severely on their water usage, the city has to get its revenue from somewhere else because otherwise they’re going to have to cut back on services elsewhere and governments don’t work that way. Governments and businesses are not in what they’re in to lose money (OK, some of them are NOW as they wait for the government to bail them out). If we all drop our electrical usage, we’ll pay for it in some other way.

Third, I get irritated by the jumble of reasons for why I should turn off my lights for this evening. Is it because having all these lights on contributes to global warming or is it because having the lights on might allow someone to see the data that shows man-made global warming is a hoax? Is it to show solidarity with my fellow man that we all love the planet? I don’t love the planet. I love my fellow mand and I’m very thankful for the planet. I try my best to treat it well by not littering and by planting trees and combating erosion, but that’s because I believe the planet I live on is a gift from God and to be treated with respect. But it’s an object and objects aren’t worthy of love because love is an action word and presupposes a being that can return the action.

And maybe, I’ll have my lights on while I watch something on my plasma TV and somebody will GoogleEarth my town and confuse my house with the Wal-Mart parking lot and … well, I’m not sure where I was going with that idea but maybe someone will notice I’m not a green sheep, though I am a sheep of a different shepherd. One who tells me he has given me dominion over my surrounding dirt—rather than the other way around.