Sapsucker

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Boy, do I feel like a sucker! Here I've been for years only buying houses I could afford to pay for, making my mortgage payment on time, running up a credit rating over 810 ... when along comes our President rewarding exactly the opposite behavior.

Buy a house you couldn't make the payment on? Don't worry, we'll get those poor saps who have been paying their taxes (i.e. "no one in my cabinet") to cover your loan.

Fall behind on your exorbitant payments? No problemo! We'll just stick the grandchildren of those suckers who pay taxes (i.e. "children of people I don't know") with the bill. You can keep their house--um, I mean--your house. Those chumps will be fine 'cause they'll listen to their parents and make reasonable purchases. Granted, their "reasonable purchases" will be way smaller than the houses they could have had if I hadn't shoved this plan up their ... bankbooks, but they're probably God-fearing people so they won't be as stressed out as you would be in their spot.

Got a credit rating lower than your I.Q.? We gotcha covered. Your stupidity got you in this mess, so your government--not wanting you to feel like some sort of freak--will prove to be even dumber than you are and give you even more credit even though you don't deserve it. What the hey? You're not the one who'll have to pay for this mess!

Oh well. At least I know enough to not have been trusting in government to solve my problems in the first place. I feel sorry for those whose faith is in any man or man-made institution for, sooner or later, their faith will be proven misplaced.