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Conspiridiocy

In the following blog I am going to explain all conspiracy theories and, if lucky, offend and alienate far more people than usual. Thankfully, I don't have to worry about offending anyone who thinks, just the conspiracy theorists. OK, here goes:

I Want to Drive the Bulldozer!

I just read the most wonderful article (http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,23583376-7583,00.html) about how global warming is not only over but that we may be heading into an ice age that could destroy civilization by 2027. The only way we can stop it is (I'm not kidding) bulldoze enormous piles of dirt or (and I really want to be a part of this) nuke the artic--thereby releasing enormous quanitites of methane which would warm up the earth to the point to off-set the fact that ...

Earth What?

Tomorrow is Earth Day (April 22). I don’t know about you, but I think I’ll celebrate by drinking something out of a Styrofoam cup while driving my SUV around town with the A/C going full blast—maybe while the windows are rolled down.

I used to be into ecology. This was back when it meant taking care of what we’ve got, planet-wise. Being an ecologist meant not littering, picking up the litter of others, soil and water conservation, planting a tree (or two) whenever you cut one down, and maybe even trying to cut down on smog.

I Thought it was MY Space

I have a MySpace account. It's a long and probably boring story as to why (I'll tell it sometime!) but I went through with it in the hopes that maybe, someday, someone from out of my past—good ol' Cooper High School, Abilene, TX—might stumble across it and drop me a line. So far, the only person who has dropped me a line definitely wasn't in my high school class.

China's A Trouble-Spot?!?! Who KNEW?

From time to time, the world—and by that, I mean the loose conglomeration of humans who populate this planet—seems incredibly stupid, or, at best, incredibly dense.

Over the last couple weeks, the news media is acting surprised by the news that China is a despotic regime with no regard for human life, religious freedoms, political freedoms, or anything other than it’s own power (in the hands of a few) and self-aggrandizement.

Lady Looks Like a Dude

You may have seen the story on the news recently about the “man” who is having a baby. This morning (April 3, 2008) both major news shows (we don’t get NBC here) were covering it.

Why, I’m not sure.

See, it came out in the news story that the “dude” having the baby is actually a chick. He/she/it had surgery to be made to look like a man, but she left her female parts inside. That’s how she’s having a baby. Call me old fashioned, but I say a person who was born as a female and has her female parts kept in working order is a female.

Conspiracy Overload

The Internet, we’re told, is the place to go for the “real” information. Often, this is said by someone who discounts the commonly held account of a given event (whether we’re talking politics, war, sports or love) in favor of something they have read on-line.

Judge Rules in Favor of the Weak Minded

Recently, a judge here in Texas ruled that three local school districts couldn’t let the graduating seniors vote on whether to have a prayer at their graduation. Most legal experts expect this ruling to be thrown out as the Supreme Court’s pretty much already ruled on this.

The suit was brought (as usual) by a minority who thinks the Constitution guarantees them a right to not be offended. The judge agreed, ruling that we shouldn’t have freedom of speech if someone else doesn’t want us to.

Aliens Created the Web--or, maybe, the Pyramids

I started out looking for a video of an Amy Grant song and somehow (I can’t for the life of me remember how; which, in itself, is kind of a funny commentary on what is to follow) wound up immersed in a series of inter- and disconnected websites that espoused and debunked (sometimes within the same sentence!) various ideas about the ancient history of our planet in general and the species known as “man” in particular.

Hollywood's Big Night

The early returns are in and it's estimated that the TV ratings for last night's Oscar presentations were the lowest ever.

Now, I know those of you who have bothered to make it to this second sentence are most likely saying to yourself, "So what?" and you know what? You're right. This is Hollywood's big night. It is not America's big night.

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