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The Olympics

It’s that time of the quadrennial when eyes all over the world are turned to the Olympics. Here in America, we do so with a sense of pride and, yes, thankfulness. Thankful that, at least for a couple weeks, we don’t have to hear nearly as much about the presidential elections.

Disconnected

I have come to a revolutionary conclusion: people with cell phones are the most disconnected folks in the world.

I don’t hate cell phones. I don’t hate cell phone users. While I am tempted to call many of them morons, I am fully cognizant of the fact that there are probably just as many non-cell users who are morons, they just don’t have as many opportunities to display it in public.

Election 2012

I am not looking forward to voting this year. Usually, I enjoy voting. I wish there were actual curtains and a lever to pull like in the old movies, but even though there aren't, I generally like voting. Not this year.

And it's not the "down races" I am down on. I've got my preferences on everyone from Senate down to County Commissioner and I will proudly cast those votes.

Feeling Gamey?

I enjoy games. My whole family enjoys games. When we get together for family reunions, we play a lot of games. Mostly, they’re the standard games: Yatzee, Monopoly (Super-Commemorative Regular Edition), poker, etc.

Cliches

Living here in the Texas panhandle, we get wind. And some days, the wind is coming off the feedlot. This is, to most of us, an unpleasant smell. But what happens if you comment on the unpleasantness of the smell?

Someone else will remark, “Smells like money.” Guaranteed.

If this were being said by, say, the owners of the cattle in the feedlot, it might be considered pithy or even funny. It never is, though. It’s being said by someone who has heard it said before and thinks it will be funny if they say it.

Get the first Garison Fitch novel for 99 cents on Kindle & Nook!

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While you're at either site, look around for great deals on all my novels (14 and counting!)!

Is It Calendar Time Already?

I was in the bookstore the other day and was surprised to see that they already had a fairly large display of 2013 calendars. This surprised me for two reasons.

First, it seemed early to already be thinking about one’s calendar purchase for the next year. Me, I always pick mine up right after Christmas, when they’re half price. I have serious suspicions that the calendar company is still making a profit off of me.

Men and Women, Are they Different?

Men and women are different.

Call me sexist for saying so if you like, but as a highly-principled person with a column to write, I feel obligated to call them as I see them. Men and women are just different.

Now, I could point out some of the myriad ways in which the fairer sex differs from the whichever one is the other sex, but I’m going to focus this morning on technology.

“Well, now, that’s sexist!” someone is already objecting. “He’s going to go into some sort of rant about how women can’t drive or operate a forklift!” No, I’m not.

Less Joy of Mortgage

On the list of “most fun things to do”, getting a new mortgage has to rate right up there between having root canal work done and a home enema kit. If only it were as simple as those two activities!

The Joy of Mortgage

There’s a reason no sane person has ever written a book with the same title as this column: it would be lying. Now, granted, fiction is basically an acceptable lie (in as much as it’s something that didn’t happen, but we feel like it’s OK since we told everyone ahead of time that we were just making it up).

Mortgages—and the application for them—is a pretty joyless business. From the consumer standpoint, anyway. Maybe mortgage bankers really like it. They must, because a] they are in the business and 2] they seem to spend way more time on it than is reasonable.

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